I am venting. We have had about as much bad news as we can stand. The birth mom in Montana, who is due the end of August with a little girl, just told us last night she changed her mind and is keeping the baby. That was my last thread of hope and I have nothing now. I bawled most of the night and just feel devastated. We have had a total of 8 people contact us about adoption and nothing has worked. Besides that, the people who were going to rent our house for a few years never called us back so that is not going to happen. The realtor we talked to today said a house like ours will probably sell for under a $100,000, which is WAY less than what we bought it for and we have put about $10,000 into it. That would crush us financially! So we may be stuck here but we are still quitting our jobs the end of July. Cameron no longer wants to go back to school but does not know what he wants to do. We both hate our current jobs and need a change. I feel so broken right now and I don't even know what to pray for. I know Heavenly Father answers prayers but maybe we are praying for the wrong things. What are we supposed to learn? I have thought of several cliche's that could apply to our situation right now and I don't want to hear any of them: "The night is always darker right before the dawn," "it could always be worse," "It will all work out," and the all time worst thing for me to hear: "Don't worry; as soon as you adopt, you will get pregnant. Everybody does." Grrrrr.
Okay I am done venting. Hopefully my next post will be a little more postivie!
11 comments:
You guys are seriously amazing, hang in there! You are in our prayers!!
I hope everything works out and we all need to vent sometimes.
I'm so sorry to hear about all of these things. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Oh, Vanessa. I'm so sorry, I don't know what that's like and I don't know why things happen the way they do. Please know that I'm praying for you. I love you so much.
My heart goes out to you. Praying for you to be able to bear the burden that God has handed you.....you are anamazing example of strength and courage to me.
We ache for you guys! We have prayed and fasted for your family and know that happiness awaits you.
I'm so sorry. My sister tried for 9 years to have a baby, and she was sick to death of all the comments about getting pregnant as soon as she adopted. But she did adopt, and get pregant the very same week, and began a totaolly new trial.....having a newborn addicted to drugs and being in the early stages of pregnancy.
And...everyone saying, "See, you just needed to relax, then your body knows what to do." Whatever, she knows that she needed to adopt her little girl before she had other children, or she never would have adoptedin the first place. I'm sorry you guys are having tough times, I hope everything works out soon.
Vanessa,
I have no idea what you are going through. All I can say is...I will pray with you, cry with you, and send my love from California. I hope better days are coming! I love you and I know Heavenly Father is watching over you and Cameron. I know for whatever reason, you have to endure these trials? You are amazing and touching the lives of so many with your endless faith. I know you are close to Britt, but I hope you know how much I look up to you as your older cousin.
I'm so proud of you for venting! it's needed Nessa and you can do it! I want to cry with you because I've seen it happen in my family. And because having your heart broken is painful. I love you and I'm proud of you. And I dont want to ruin the ending for you, but it will all work out. Here's some uplifting words ;)
http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/face-the-future-with-faith?lang=eng
And whenever you'r down. watch this video. I've made it into a DVD and watch it on a regular basis.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAjZ8mfoYw
Love you.
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