Our New Little Miracle

It's finally official: we are a family of four! I have looked forward to writing this post for 11 months, when we got approved to adopt the second time. I want to document our match with our birth mom, the waiting, and the subsequent birth of Kimber, so this may be a long post!

Getting Matched
After getting approved to adopt in March 2013, we anticipated being matched within a few months. The matching agency we were using advertises short waits, especially if being open to minority races, which we were. I pictured a beautiful African American baby boy. I was excited to Jacoby to have a sibling close to his age and when my single jogging stroller broke in April, I decided to buy a double jogging stroller, which I used all summer and fall with one child, by the way. I was confident our baby would come by early summer. Oh, why do I ever try to make a plan?

We actually did get matched quickly (the end of April) and it seemed perfect: baby AA boy, due the end of August. We were matched for 3 months before it fell apart. Read about that HERE. Afterwards, our agency was great in trying to find us another opportunity. We were presented with information about 2 birth mothers in September but they didn't feel right after praying and weighing pros and cons. On Oct 16, a Wednesday, in Costco (just where everyone likes to get phone calls), I got a phone call from the matching coordinator about a birth mom due in February. As I listened to the information she gave me while trying to entertain Jacoby and push the cart around Costco, I just felt...peace. I just knew that this was THE CALL. When I talked to Cameron that night, he just said, "yeah, that sounds good." No "ok lets talk about this and weigh the pros and cons." It was amazing! Our birth mom, Tyesha, was due with a African American baby girl on February 22nd. We had been expecting to adopt a boy for so long, it threw us for a loop for a little while trying to wrap our heads around having a girl. Once we did, we were so excited.

First Visit

We stayed in touch with Tyesha through phone calls and texting the next few months, and she wanted an open adoption, which we were happy with. We only told a few people we were matched, so we just pretended our life was going on like normal, when I was dreaming and thinking of this baby all the time.

Tyesha really wanted to meet us before she gave birth, so we picked a time when we could drive to Witchitam KS to meet her. It ended up being a last minute thing, because Cameron was in North Dakota working and couldn't leave until things slowed down. On December 10, I ended up driving Jacoby and I to Cheyenne, WY (9 hrs away) while Cameron left North Dakota that same day and met us there that night. Jacoby was so excited to see his daddy after 4 weeks! The next day, we made the rest of journey, and had a great time visiting with Tyesha, despite each of us coming down with the stomach virus while there. :(

The Call: "I'm being induced!"

The end of January, Tyesha let us know that because of some tests that were done after her 36 week check-up, she was diagnosed with mild pre-eclampsia and they wanted to induce her soon after she was 37 weeks. This was such a relief to all of us: she was ready to be done and had really wanted us at the birth; we were stressed out wondering when she would go into labor and how we were going to make the 18 hr drive, knowing we would be there way after the baby was born. As it was, we left February 1st and drove all night to get to our hotel in Witchita in time to watch the Super Bowl on February 2nd. Tyesha was set to be induced Tuesday, February 4th, so we had Monday to hang out with her and try and catch up on sleep. Jacoby did so great traveling but I really hope we never have to drive all night again.

The Birth

Tyesha had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am central time on Tuesday and I got to be picked up by the caseworker and Tyesha that morning so I could go with them to the hospital. Cameron and Jacoby were planning to come later in the morning when the birth was getting close so Jacoby could sleep in and wouldn't terrorize the hospital. A winter storm was planned for that day, and for once, the weather people were right. It started snowing at 4 am and didn't stop all day. There was about 8 inches by the end of day, and by the way, in Kansas, they are terrible about plowing roads and people there cannot drive in snow. Just saying.

Tyesha was started on Petocin and had 3 1/2 hrs of labor before givng birth to Kimber at 11:22 am. I got to watch the whole thing, which was incredible and Tyesha even let me cut the umbilical cord. I was shaking so bad as I watched Tyesha perform this difficult, amazing feat. I got to watch the baby being cleaned up and snapped pictures like crazy. Then the nurse handed me the baby and I walked her over to Tyesha, It was so tender to see her hold her baby. At this point, my legs had stopped shaking and I just felt relieved that she was okay. She was little: 6 lbs 10 oz and 19 inches long, but perfectly healthy. She had a head full of dark, curly hair. I'm sure people will wonder if she felt like my baby as soon as she was born, but it actually felt like I had just watched my sister or best friend give birth, and I was just so excited to meet the baby and proud of the mother. I remember feeling the same way when Jacoby was born too. These babies didn't feel like mine right away but I loved them and wanted to be near them. I was in awe that the doctor and nurses were including me in the conversations and telling me "congratulations." I said 'thank you' but felt kinda strange.

Cameron and Jacoby, meanwhile, were braving terrible roads and arrived to Tyesha's room about 15 minutes after the birth. Cameron had told Jacboy about the baby on the way over, and he was so cute looking at her on the bed, saying "hi baby" in a soft voice. Tyesha was in good spirits through all this and although she held her for a time, she wanted me to feed her the first bottle. We eventually moved rooms to the birth center across the road and had to follow the nurse pushing Tyesha and the babyon a bed with wheels in the basement that connected the two buildings. Soon after, we went to the cafeteria for lunch so Tyesha could rest. It was then that we talked about naming the baby. We finally decided on Kimber, which was Cameron's first choice. Her middle name is Vanessa, which we had decided about a month before.

Signing the papers

In Kansas, birth mothers can relinquish parental rights as soon as 12 hrs after birth. Our attorney had everyone sign the papers the next day in the hospital before Tyesha and the baby were released. It happened so fast...we showed up to the hospital the next morning and our attorney was in the waiting room waiting for us. Once we paid some money and signed a few papers, that was that. Tyesha was doing the same thing in her room. A very bitter-sweet time. Afterward, we visited in the room and took turns holding Kimber while waiting for lab results and discharge orders. Tyesha was actually released a few hours before Kimber was, so Tyesha left and we were left alone with Kimber in the room. It was very strange because it was so different than the signing day with Jacoby. We left the hospital with our TWO kids and drove back to our hotel. Two days later, we went to the courthouse and went before a judge, where he looked over our homestudy and paperwork and said everything looked good. Then he signed the order of adoption. This didn't finalize the adoption, but the final hearing will be in about 6 weeks in Kansas, and we don't have to be there for it, just our attorney.

Coming Home

After we brought Kimber to our hotel Wednesday, we had to wait for ICPC to clear us to leave Kansas and come to Idaho with our new baby. We waited until Monday and until then, we hung out in our hotel, venturing out for a trip to Cabelas so Jacoby could see "the animals." We also visted our friends, the Knightons, who live in Witchita, and recently adopted an AA baby boy from the same agency. We joked that they are going to get married someday. On Sunday, Tyesha came to visit us at our hotel and spent some time with Kimber and said good-bye. We are so glad that she wants to stay in touch as it will be healthier for her and kimber as she gets older. She will know her birth mother loves her and can ask her questions only she can answer. A child can never have too many people who love them.

We finally left Witchita on Monday, February 10, which was Jacoby's birthday. We didn't celebrate since we were traveling but luckily he didn't care too much. We drove to Cheyenne, WY on Monday and make it the rest of the way home Tuesday night. Cameron drove the whole way while I sat in the back so I could help the kids. That was exhausting and I am so glad we are home. Since then, we have been settling in and just enjoying our new daughter.